Confession:  I have about 18 blog “drafts” sitting incomplete on my computer, 7 of them about our adoption story and what is next for us.  There’s a thousand things to talk about, sure, but nothing has really gotten my creative juices flowing the way they normally do.  That is until recently.

The topic of “what’s next” for our family has been on my mind a lot.  It’s been on a lot of people’s minds in fact…many of your regularly ask what’s going with our family and what is next for us.  A question I love to talk about!  This question is always met with what seems to be a very simple answer…

We’re waiting to bring another heart into our family.  

Yep, that’s right…we’re back on the list!  In fact we’ve been quietly back on the list since about August of last year, but haven’t gotten around to telling people because of a bunch of other transitions in our family (we moved – twice – between August and October, but that’s another story).  To be honest, we’re excited but cautious.  We know it could be awhile until we’re blessed with another soul to love.  So we’ve settled in for the long haul.

It’s honestly been torture 

Recently, it’s been even harder… and I mean that in the best way.

We’ve been surrounded by babies.  In the last 9-ish months we’ve seen babies welcomed  through adoption and birth into our large network of friends  – babies and families who’s journeys we feel especially tied to (Welcome: Penelope, Leo, June, Fox, Kylee, and Dottie!) and we’re expecting a few more babies in the coming months in our circle (including a very special pair of twin boys and two sweet baby girls).  In every instance, with every child, my heart explodes for these families. I know that feeling, the feeling of your child in your arms for the first time.  The feeling of looking down at this tiny little human that you’ve prayed and hoped and longed for – and SEEING them there, in your arms.  There’s honestly no better feeling.

I’ve been lucky enough to snuggle many of these babies.  To hold them in my arms and look over at their adoring parents and know what they’re feeling – an overwhelming sense of love and inexplicable joy.  Those moments are precious to me – and I cherish them.  However precious those moments are, they make my desire for another child grow stronger.

For now, we’re in the waiting place.  Waiting for God’s perfect timing and his perfect plan for our family to reveal itself to us.

It’s a weird feeling.  Waiting.  Waiting for the phone to ring.  Waiting for a baby, that may or may not even exist yet, to arrive.  Waiting for the words “you’ve been matched” or “you’re going to be parents today”.  Waiting for a certain name or a certain area code to pop up on my caller ID.  Waiting every day for a baby, that we don’t even know, yet already love.

We’re just waiting…and its the hardest part.  There’s no end in sight. This isn’t like a race with a definitive distance that  you are working toward – we actually have no idea how long our road will be.  All we can do is wait.  And pray.  And trust God’s perfect timing.

So this Lenten season, I’m giving up impatience (and desserts).  I’m choosing to trust the plan that is made for us.  I am choosing to live in the moment.  I am choosing to wait, patiently, for our next little soul to love.

Until then, I’ll keep my mind and heart busy loving on a sweet little almost 2 year old.  She’s full of spunk and personality already.  She loves the movie Frozen, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and Elmo.  Her favorite word is, “No.” usually said while pointing directly at you.  She has MAJOR stranger danger as of late.

Her best friend’s name is Jude.  She loves being outside and can often be found attempting to put on her own shoes and hat – because apparently she is going outside with or without you.  She loves her “doggies”, books about doggies, shirts with doggies, and watching Brutus play “ball” in the back yard.  I’ve read the book “Doggies.” every night to her for the last 2 weeks – with no indication of her tiring on the book. She smiles endlessly, cuddles like it’s her job, and loves to dance and sing.  Her smile lights up my heart and I treasure her.  She has been the greatest joy of our lives.

Don’t hesitate to ask about our family – I honestly love talking about it.  Feel free to send good vibes, prayers or well wishes our way.   Until then, we’ll just continue to love the snot out of Emery, pump goodness into the world, and trust that there’s another baby meant for us to love.  Until then…we wait.