As it turns out, God had a plan for me to be a mom – and by his grace I became a mom.  Since, however, that moment when my daughter was placed into my arms – being a mom has been the greatest gift to my life.  It’s the greatest job and the best title I’ve ever had.  Today is the day that I get to celebrate that gift, the gift of being a mom.

It’s also a day that I get to celebrate my own mother – the love she gave, the sacrifices she made, the lessons she taught, and how she carefully shaped me throughout my life and showed me unconditional love – even in my terrible teen years.  My relationship with my mom – especially in my adult life – has been very special to me.  Today is a day that I get to celebrate her – and all she’s done for me in my lifetime.

But, it’s also a day to celebrate all the women in my life who “mom-ed” me.  The phrase “it takes a village” is no joke – and the reality is that it takes lots of people to raise good children – no one can do it alone.  So today, I also celebrate my grandmothers (both gone) Evelyn and Lela, my godmother Kathy, my aunts Bonnie, Shirley, Mary and Janette – and my stepmother Chrissy.  There’s so many special women to celebrate today.  So many women who had a deep impact on me and the person I’ve become.

But today wasn’t always that “sweet” for me – and there’s lots of women – where today brings pain. As it turns out, becoming a mom isn’t actually that easy for lots of women – and today more than any other day of the year is a painful reminder of how desperately they want to be a mom – and can’t.   Today there are women grieving the loss of a child – born or unborn.  There are women waiting for a call with the magical words “you’ve been matched”.  There are women today praying that being a mother is in God’s plan for them.  Today my heart aches with you.  Today I pray with you.  I know that pain on Mother’s Day – and today I pay honor to your struggle.  I feel your pain, too.  Mother’s Day last year fell two days after our first birthmother made the decision to parent.  I couldn’t look at Facebook and spent most of the day in bed – everything was a reminder of the one thing in my life I wanted – but had no control over getting.  Today I grieve with you.

More than anything today, I think of Emery’s birthmother.  I wonder how she’s doing today.  I wish for the opportunity to hug her one more time, thank her one more time – to show her the beautiful little girl Emery has become.

People assume adoption is an easy choice.  That it’s easy for a birthmother to “give away” her child.  That choosing adoption means that the birthmother doesn’t “want” their child anymore – and easily and flippantly decides to “give him or her up for adoption”.  That’s not the reality at all. Adoption is a difficult choice and a choice where a woman make a conscious decision – a choice – to give the child she is carrying a life better than the one they can provide.  It’s the most selfless and loving choice a human could ever make.  It’s courageous and BRAVE.

We chose the name “Emery” for our daughter because it means “Brave”.  We chose it as a way to pay honor to her birthmother.  We can only hope that she inherits an ounce of the bravery that her birthmother exhibited.  So while today on mother’s day I celebrate the greatest gift I’ve ever been given – today I also grieve the pain and loss of the woman who gave that gift to me.  It’s a honor and privilege that she chose me – us – to love, care for, and mother the baby she carried for 9 months.

So while today we celebrate mothers everywhere, I also pay honor to the women who aren’t mother’s and want to be, the ones who chose a better life for their children, and one’s who perhaps don’t have a title – but mother us just the same.  Today is about happiness and pain – but mostly today is a time to show love to all of the women in our lives who’ve helped us become the people we are today.  Know that we’re wrapping all of you up in love today.